I think I might have inhaled you.
A photo from my Alaska trip of yesteryear, when both I and this glacier were young and beautiful. Which reminds me, I am developing a shock of grey hair. This is very disturbing. Some months ago, I noticed what I beleived to be a freak hair, pale as the driven snow and altogether out of place on my ravishingly hirsute scalp. Ever vain, I plucked it out while giving an exaggerated high-eyebrow grimace in the mirror. That takes care of that, I said, possibly also briskly wiping my hands together in the process for added dramatic effect, or, considering that I was alone in the bathroom at the time, for added creepy effect. Then just the other day, as I was admiring my fine head plumage in the mirror, I see ol' whitey is back, and he's brought about 5 of his mates. It's hardly time to bring out the purple rinse, but troubling nonetheless. It's a bit rough to start getting grey when I've only one chest hair to my name.
May I say that pop77-40 gives me a giant swaying boner. Speaking of which, a career plan currently under consideration is to gain 6-8 inches in the trouser using an extended course of natural supplements and bovine growth hormones ordered over the internets, and attempt to break into the niche market of monster cock videos. That would be awesome.
My extended absence from your internet has been mostly due to me working like a 14 year old illegal immigrant at a massage parlour, helping Mike with his undergrad thesis. We've been at uni till 3am every night since Sunday, and getting in somewhere around 10-12 in the morning. This leaves my mind a desolate ghetto for entertaining you vultures. However, Mike bought me a 4kg bucket of Musashi PROTEIN POWDER. This also is awesome.
xo.
posted by dr. cok at 2:00 PM
26 Comments:
Don't worry mat, silver-haired men can still be quite alluring. Especially if they wear a nice knitted cardigan!
My hairdresser described me as 1/3 grey this week, but I've had a hard knock life.
What's 4kg of protein powder divided by the hours? He has been paying you in grams for all your help! You are no better than a crack whore!
do you look like the bloody hug guys in that Jimoein and Bob sketch now?
huge. not hug.
Matt, you lazy bastard, how can i ring you when you do not give me a number that i can contact you on??? I tried to do the mobile thing, but it didnt work for some reason. Ra!
Wasn't the "Bloody Huge" skit done by Hale and Pace?
no tard face, it was jimoein and bob!!!
and they also did the escalator thing - thoroughly enjoyable...
I'm fairly certain Jimoein ripped it off Hale & Pace so someone should get their facts straight.
Back me up internet.
Mat, I see your silver head hair and raise you a silver pube.
Ian: I'm going more for the flamboyant playboy millionare look. Moreover, I am not 'silver-haired', I prefer to describe it as a racing stripe (it's quite localized, you see).
KT: Then you may find this track by Jay-Z comforting: "It's a hard knock life". And no, I don't look bloody huge. I have, however, shed my androdgynous torso and arms like a muscular pupae emerging from its cocoon.
B-roq: My bad.
Choco: No! Really?
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Jay-Z is livin my life.
Chris - you're wrong. Stop embarassing yourself.
Mat - are we thinking purple silk dressing gown, a pipe, and a host scantily clad women?
I approve, as long as I get an invite to the pool parties!
Yes, really. And it was freakishly long, straight and fine. I think it may have been transplanted there from a Swedish girl whilst the aliens were anally probing me.
Can we call you Skunk Head, Mat?
Or El Skunko for an ethnic vibe?
Ha!! Doctor Dictionary's "word of the day" today is umbrage. I can't help but laugh.
Also, in the spirit of Mat's overt crudity, I will add that pop77 mix 40 makes me cream my pants in excitement. There, see? I can be crass too!
You're getting the hang of it! Now try to be a crazy comedy bandit by being 'inappropriate'.
Gee. That shouldn't be too hard. "inappropriate" is almost my middle name. In fact, if was some sort of castle owning dude in the ye olde England, I am sure that I would have been dubbed with the title "Chia the Inappropriate"
Speaking of vulgar Chia - i have a feeling this is, but this is a genuine question:
What does it mean when one engages in frottage?
I really don't know, but would like to...? Or maybe I wouldn't...?
Frottage, my dear girl, is essentially sex with clothes on and no actually sex. Lots of rubbing. Doctor Dictionary describes it as "masturbation by rubbing against another person". Yessir!!
Oh.
I think mat ate all 4kg of protein powder in one momentus sitting, and now his fingers are too buffed to type.
Matthew, your glacier is boring me. BORING ME!
The public demands more!
Its true. They do.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Its true. We are asleep.
think he's busy getting more out of his workout.
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